Monday, October 24, 2011 |

30 Day Challenge - Day #18 Hopes, Dreams, Goals........

     Hopes and Dreams? Goals? Wow, this is a heavy subject. Considering in the last year and a half, most of what I have worked for has been reduced to rubble, much like an earthquake can level an entire city in moments. It's hard for me to look forward to anything that far in advance anymore. Not to sound a little down on my luck, or hopeless, but honestly, I think the most anyone can "hope" for these days is to have enough money to keep the roof over your head, and food in your stomach. Not that things have gotten that desperate for us by all means, but things are tight.
     Seven years ago we bought a house and it was tight than too, but our careers were on the right track and we really didn't feel that we had bitten off more than we could chew. I figured within a couple of years things would loosen up, money would be stockpiled into savings and we could sit back and enjoy our life. Travel, eat at good restaurants, buy things that we really wanted just not needed. That was my goal, but now 2 moves later and a year of unemployment checks has me wondering if things will even get better again. It seems that all we have ever done is struggle. Of course it's not a unique situation, with the state of affairs these days. I just wish for all the hard work that we have put in over the years we could catch a break at some point.
     Not that I'm not happy and comfortable living back at the old homestead, and I can see some light at the end of the long tunnel waiting for us, but I'm almost 40, and it can be very depressing to have worked so hard for so little. OK, enough of being morbidly depressed at this point, but I'm sure you can relate to how I feel when it comes to trying to look ahead with optimism.
     I am so very blessed despite all the other things that have happened, and I do still look forward to the day when I can take a wine tour of Napa or buy my plane tickets for Paris and not have to worry about breaking the bank. I look forward to hopefully new employment opportunities that will be fulfilling and rewarding, without drama and political bullshit. (that would be to much to hope for, but I still hope for it.) I look forward to the times that my husband and I can just take little weekend vacations and not worry about if the gas is going to bleed us dry. I don't desire having a huge house, or lots of fancy furnishings. I am content to find things on sale, or at yard sales, why throw something away that's perfectly good? So I'm not about the materialistic side of life, I would rather be out living life and experiencing everything that the world has to offer. That's my hopes, my goals, my dreams.
     We don't have children and many may see that as a sad thing and sometimes I do, but I look at it as my opportunity to be able to pick up and go at a moments notice. Ironic though it may be we are still spending the best years of our life tied to staying home most weekends not because we need a sitter, because we have no money in the bank. Again I apologize for being such a downer. I see so many people struggle and I feel for them all. I know some are by the life style choices that they have made, while people like us seem to be thwarted at every turn by big business.
     I look forward to what the next years will bring. And in the spirit of the country that we live in I hope to regain some of those hopes and dreams through hard work and perseverance. If I can say anything about this topic, my biggest hope is that I am not finally beaten down but rise from the ashes in victory!
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